Name What Matters
There is a statement I heard a few years ago that has had a profound effect on my life. It was an “ah-ha” moment for me for sure when I heard these words. I’ll never forget where I was sitting when I heard my friend make this statement:
“You want what you want, whether you admit it or not.”
Why did it affect me so deeply? Because I was in a season of my life where I was trying desperately not to want what I actually did want. And I was trying to bury my desires in multiple areas of my life. Of course up until this point I hadn’t realized this. Nor did I realize how unhealthy this pattern was for me, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But, no matter how hard I tried to ignore or deny what I actually wanted it wouldn’t go away.
And over the years since then I’ve learned that it works much better to face my own reality head on instead of pretending or denying it as a way to force myself to be who I think I “should” be. For me there were many layers to work through but I’m happy to say that the Lord has brought me along the path toward living honestly with myself and others, acknowledging and admitting my desires (even those I’m not proud of, even those I need to repent of).
A tool that has helped me be able to name what matters is journaling. Or maybe I should say list-making, but I do it in my journal. For me that looks like first making a list of everything that could matter. In order for this to even be possible of course I do have to narrow it down to a certain area of my life: health, homeschooling, work, etc. OR even an event (a birthday, family reunion, weekend getaway, etc). Okay, so after I’ve made my list of everything that could matter, I go back over it and cross out things that really don’t matter to me. They might matter to someone else, but are no big deal to me. And then with what’s left I go through and put a star by things that matter most to me. This simple exercise brings so much clarity for me and helps me be able to prioritize around what matters most.
For those who would like to see, I’ve included a sample list below. You know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words. Rather than just tell you about my process, here’s a picture that shows how I have learned to be able to name what matters to me.
